Love again

Yeah, my first Wk fic! I hope it's okay, I don't know if the grammar and all that crap is all right, I am German. So if you find any mistakes, please tell me! Feedback welcomed and wanted! Disclaimers: The White Boys are mine, and I make a lot of money with this story... okay, not true. * sniff* Not mine, no money.

The monotone beeping was a major pain in the ass. He hadn't heard anything else the last few hours, and yet he hadn't gotten used to it. The rain didn't want to stop, sometimes a lightning parted the dark sky. Omi sighed. He was tired, very tired. He wanted to sleep, to give his poor body a break. But he couldn't sleep. Not when Ken was in this state. His boyfriend looked so lost, the white pillows and sheets were swallowing his too thin body. He hadn't moved in the last hours, his breath was uneven and sometimes he couldn't breathe without the plastic mask. He was nearly as white as his pillow, his brown hair was a contrast to his pale skin. He was dying. The doctors gave him no more than two more days, then he would leave. Forever. He hadn't told anybody about his disease until it was too late, until he broke down in the middle of the flowershop. This had been two months ago, and since then Omi hadn't left the hospital. He sat down beside his lover and took the white hand into his own. He was shocked every time he touched his lover, he felt like he would shatter into a thousand pieces with the lightest touch. Omi let his fingers gently slide over Ken's cold skin, smiling a little. "Ken, you know what that really reminds me of? The day I figured out that you are feeling the same for me... that you love me. Do you remember? You'd been shot during a mission, and you couldn't manage to reach our meeting point...... We found you, five hours later in the rain, shivering and with a fever. You spoke in your dreams, and when I stayed with you to have an eye on you all night long, you said that you love me......" Omi placed a light kiss on his lover's hand and smiled again. "I couldn't believe you felt the same..." I..... still feel the same, no past tense!" Omi lowered his head and kissed the still closed eyelids, then his forehead and finally his mouth. Ken didn't kiss back, he was already drifted off into another sleep. Omi gulped and tried to force the tears away. He remembered back to their first kiss.....


"Omi-kun, what did I say last night?"

"Ehrm... Well........ You had a high fever, and.... you said....."

"Spit it out, what did I say?"

"You... said that you're in love...."

"Did I say who...."



"Ken-kun..... I don't know what to say now, I just don't know, I'm sorry!"

"It's okay. I didn't expect you to feel the same. We will stay friends, okay?"

"No, Ken! I mean, yes, of course but.....I... ehm.... Well, I do feel..... the same way so..... Ken, would you mind kissing me?"

"May I kiss you? Do you really think I deserve it?"

"More than anyone else!" Ken captured his lips with his own, slowly entering with his tongue, exploring the sweet depths of the younger boy's mouth. His hands started sliding down Omi's sides, his lips now traveled down his neck, licking and kissing the soft skin without any pause. "Ken.... Ai shiteru!"

~~~~~~~end flashback~~~~~~~

A soft pressure of his hand woke Omi up. "You were sleeping." Ken's voice had turned into a hoarse whisper, interrupted by gasps of pain.

"No, I'm just........ okay. I am tired. Omi, I'm too...... so tired...... I want to sleep, Omi-kun. Just sleep, just peace, silence....."

"No, Ken-kun, don't say stuff like that! You must not leave me, you must not!"

"Omi, I'm so sorry......" A single tear slid down his thin cheek, Omi kissed it away. He knew what his lover was talking about, knew that it was now time to say goodbye forever. He knew it from the day that he met him, that this day would come. And now, it was there. The cold hand of death was already tugging at Ken, but Omi would fight till the very end. "Omi, please promise me to be happy."

"I..... I promise!"

"Promise me to go on living."

"I promise."

"Promise me to be there for the others, to look for them."

"I promise."

"Promise me to love again."

"I..... can't. I can never........ never......... I" He broke down, crying. Heavy sobs shaking through his body. He felt Ken's hand brush against his hair, stroking him gently. He felt so helpless, so damn helpless.

"Omi-kun, I love you, I love you more than you can imagine."

"Ken, don't go! Please don't!"

"It's not my right to decide..... But I feel it, Omi. It's over."


"Omi..... I.... * gasp * care of yourself..... * gasp *...... Please...!"

"Ken-kun, don't leave me, doooon't!" Omi buried his head in Ken's chest and cried out loud, all his misery shown in his sobs.

"Omi, please let me go........"

"No, Ken, Nooo! I don't want to leave you, I love you, you promised to be there for me, keep your promise!"

"That's unfair...."

"I love you, you can't leave me alone. Please don't leave me, please don't! Please! Ken, I...... Ken? Ken? Ken!?

"Ai... shi...teru... O-m-i..... love...."

"Ken?" Silence. The beeping turned into a constant beep, the red line on the monitor was not more than an unmoved line. "No.............. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Omi broke down, his hands slamming against the floor, his tears wetting his face and dripping down to the floor. He was gone. He was dead. Omi was alone, so damn alone.... He looked up to the bottle of mineral water...... Just throw it down.... joust pick up a peace of glass... just slice his wrists... Just wait..... But he had given his koi his word to go on living and take care of the others. "I'll go on, Ken-kun. But I'll never be able to open my heart again, never be able to.... love again."


Please, feedback!!! Love, Sei